So much of the social media posts I see in the coaching world are skewed in one direction: toward players. These posts, tweets, etc., admonish athletes that if they aren’t getting the playing time, attention, points, touches, or whatever else is the object of their hearts desire, that this is a direct result of them not putting in the work or being coachable or having the right attitude. The locus of control is placed firmly in the lap of the student-athlete, where in large part, it should be.
However, I think there is a part of the formula missing. Absent from the conversation is what the role coaches should play in the equation? What is it that we need to do in order for our athletes or teams to maximize their potential? Retweet a provocative post from another coach? Scream and yell at our athletes or even the officials when results are not happening at the speed or in the manner of our preference? The criticism I would make of myself and others like me is that we often times fail to recognize that our actions often times may not help the cause in the way we think should.
Dr. Rob Gilbert has said many times that, “Your thoughts determine what you want. Your actions determine what you get.” Too often, I think coaches, especially young ones, act the way they feel rather than trying to understand what their players need and providing it. Another way to phrase it is, your actions can be affective or effective. Here’s a definition from Grammerly.com:
- Affective describes something that has been influenced by emotions, is a result of emotions, or expresses emotion.
- Effective describes something that produces a desired result.
I’ve seen a number social media posts where coaches have shared the press conference where Geno Auriemma talks about how he evaluates recruits on their body language during games.
What I don’t think coaches consider is whether their body language is effective in eliciting the response from their athletes that helps them maximize their potential. Does this mean that we never raise our voice, or provide criticism to our athletes? Absolutely not. But, if all we do is scream and yell, our athletes will become numb to what we say. If we argue every single call an official makes, when are they to believe that we actually have a substantive argument that could change a call?
If we want for our actions to have the effect that we want, they must be intentional, purposeful and skillful. A theatrical example of this that I like to refer to with coaches is a scene from the movie Miracle. In the scene, Herb Brooks, played by Kurt Russell, the coach comes into the locker room in between periods to challenge his team in a fairly negative manner. While I don’t think the content of the speech would be appropriate for a high school or youth coach to use, as Brooks walks out of the locker room, he lets the viewer know that he was not out of control, or acting on emotion, but rather, giving his team what they needed to play their best.
Discussed much less than more notable demonstrations of uncontrolled negative emotions or what 3D Coaching refers to as “unpleasant/unhelpful” there is also coaching behavior which is “pleasant/unhelpful.” While I think that telling coaches to be less emotional during contests, even when those emotions are positive, may be difficult to do. I made the choice to tamp down my emotions while coaching after I felt like I was having a heart attack after getting so excited after we kicked a 37 yards field goal in a state quarterfinal play-off game. At the time, I was only 29 years old. I knew if I was going to have such extreme emotional reactions on a regular basis, it wouldn’t be good for my health long term.
The choice I ultimately made, was to try to be the coach that my team needed at the time. When things were tough, I tried to be upbeat and encouraging in as authentic a way as possible. When things were going unbelievably well, I tried to ground our athletes so that they understood that what was most important, was the next play. When things were chaotic, I tried to be a calming influence.
An excellent, perhaps the best example I can share of a coach acting effectively, rather than affectively, is the Brad Stevens when we has the head basketball coach at Butler University. Famously versus an NCAA tournament game, in the span of just a few real time seconds, the Bulldogs went from basically throwing away a chance to win the game to one of the most memorable finishes in recent NCAA tournament history. Throughout the event, Stevens’ actions reflected the best version of himself in that present moment. Here is a video and interview where you can both see the play, his reaction and here his explanation of why he coaches that way.
Stevens says, “You’re just trying to help put your team in the best position you can, and impact it as much as you can, which sometimes you can, sometimes you can’t. If that shot goes in or that shot doesn’t go in, it has no impact to me on how we played.” The follow up question by Brett Ledbetter is very important in my opinion. He asks Stevens if people have misinterpreted his demeanor as a lack of passion. I personally have had parents ask me why or how I was so calm during matches or games and there were instances where I know they felt I might not care enough about an outcome. This underscores the important of building relationships with your athletes so there isn’t a question of whether or not you care.
Ultimately, each coach must ask himself/herself what it is that they want? Do you want to act how you feel, or do you want to act for effect? As I have told my team many times, it doesn’t matter what you feel but what do and if what you do is intentional, purposeful and skillful, you’ll have a must better chance of having the most positive impact as possible.