One of the first things I share with my coaches when we have our pre-season inservice meeting is that regardless of our vocation, when we coach kids, we are educators. My belief is that interscholastic athletics exist first and foremost to enhance and augment the overall educational experience of the student-athlete.
As such, the expectations that we have of our coaches, as well as student athletes should be in line with the expectations we have for the classroom. Our behavior and goals on the court/mat/track/field should vary by degree, not in nature.
I share this with them not only to draw a bright line that all can understand regarding behavior but also to empower coaches who may not be teachers that they have a vital role in the education of a young person. We believed that there were two sides of the coin for a championship program: strong relationships and high expectations. Without the former, it is difficult to truly fulfill the former.
When we talk about relationships, we must address our purpose as coaches. If we only coach to win games, we are in jeopardy of being transactional coaches who only care for athletes so long as they serve a purpose. If we not only are striving to put the most competitive team/athlete in the field of competition as well as equally concerning ourselves with the development of the athlete’s as a whole person, we operate as transformational coaches.
Recently, I came across a short quote that was posted on Tumblr by a person known as Autistic Annie that resonated with me. I think it is an interesting thought that could lead to some deep and rich discussions about coaching and what “respect” is in that context. Here is the quote as originally published:
Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority”
and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person”
and they think they’re being fair but they aren’t, and it’s not okay.
In reflecting upon this, it struck me that I may have been guilty in the past of making this semantic error. As transformational coaches, we need to first recognize the value of all athletes as people first and expect in return that they return the favor. Too often though, I think coaches make the mistake of basing their “respect” for an athlete upon what that individual does, rather than upon who they are.
If athletes can’t comply with the rules and expectations of their coaches, there is only so much that can be done. But, we always have a “trade them or train them” deadline. It is reasonable to distribute playing time at the varsity level proportionally with an athlete’s ability to help the team. Regardless of this, we are going to love them as best we can as people and making everyone accountable to the same high standards.
At the very least, I think the quote above is a great discussion starter for someone interested in exploring their coaching practice. Hopefully, it will help you take a deeper look at your relationship with your athletes (and coaches and maybe even parents) and spur you to become more intentional about those relationships.
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